Hey doulas, welcome back to the Birthing Bessie blog where we talk about real topics pertaining to pregnancy, birth,  postpartum, building a business, partnerships, and just real life. Here on the blog, we don’t shy away from talking about the hardships of building a business. Instead, we encourage, validate, and welcome you with open arms.

Today I want to talk a little bit about those first moments when you’re going to meet with your client. More and more as I talk to new doulas, especially there is a little bit of angst and anxiety that people are feeling about.

When you arrive at your client’s birthplace, knowing how and when to start supporting your client can feel overwhelming or intimidating. Here’s my go-to process for arriving at the birth space, acclimating to the environment, and jumping in for support.

So I want to break it down and tell you a little bit about what I do and why. And of course, like everything in pregnancy, birth, and just running our businesses, we will all do things a little bit differently. But these are some things that I have found to really help me acclimate to the birth space to support my clients.

Prefer to watch? Here’s the video for you, Doula!

 Hey doulas, welcome back to the Birthing Bestie Blog where we talk about real topics pertaining to pregnancy, birth, postpartum, building a business, partnerships, and just real life. Here on the blog, we don’t shy away from talking about the hardships of building a business. Instead, we encourage, validate, and welcome you with open arms.

Today I want to talk a little bit about those first moments when you’re going to meet with your client. More and more as I talk to new doulas, especially there is a little bit of angst and anxiety that people are feeling about. 

So I want to break it down and tell you a little bit about what I do and why. And of course, like everything in pregnancy, birth, and just running our businesses, we will all do things a little bit differently. But these are some things that I have found to really help me acclimate to the birth space to support my clients.

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Most times that I am going to join my clients at the hospital or their birthing space, they’ve been in labor or laboring in that space for a little while. However, regardless of where they’re at in labor and how their labor has unfolded until the point that I have physically arrived, there are a couple of things that I do the same way every time.

These few things help set the tone for the way that I support them throughout the rest of their labor, and my method looks a little something like this:

Most times I am in constant contact with my clients once I know they’re in labor. So, for me, no matter how the conversation has gone before being with my clients, and no matter how much information I’ve been able to gather through the virtual support, when I go to be with them– regardless of what has been going on–  I show up with a cheery disposition.

I always enter the room very happy and excited and with quiet tones. I make sure my presence feels warm, welcoming, and positive. Whether or not I know if there have been issues with the staff until that point, when I show up, my goal is to shift the energy… or keep it positive, if that’s the case. So always come into the room, quietly, but happy, excited, and positive about what’s to come. 

For me, most times that looks like knocking on the hospital door, peeking my head in before entering the room, and saying something like, “Hey guys, it’s me.” Once I enter, I’ll say, hello, and always I ask, “How are things going? How are you feeling?” 

An important question for me to get the answer to soon after I arrive is “How’s it been going?” 

I always want to get the lay of the land as I arrive at the hospital/birth space. So when I come in and say “hello”, and ask, “How’s it going?” it gives me a good opportunity to dig a little deeper into what their experience has been like so far. I want to know how have the nurses been, whether have they seen the care provider yet, and whether are they on call, and ask those kinds of questions to see how any of those things might be affecting them at the moment. 

Perhaps their care provider’s not on call and they’re really upset or thrown off about it. That lets me know right away that we’re going to work through that and help them realize that it’s a nonissue. 

So asking those questions, even if I know the answers, gives a good opportunity to get an idea of how they have been acclimated to the hospital. It’s a good opportunity to get a pulse check on where they’re at in that moment and how things have been going leading into that moment.

Another thing that I do when I first arrive that I think is important is to not rush in to give that physical support. I like to sit back and watch a contraction, maybe two, depending on how they cope with the contractions that they’re having.

This helps me understand what the client and partner’s process for support has been like up to this point. When a contraction is coming on, I stay close by, but I don’t touch. Instead, I just observe. I talk them through their contraction and remind them to breathe, but my goal is to tune into how has she been coping with these without me here, and how the partner is helping her cope with them. The goal is to get an idea of what teamwork is already happening without me before I’m present. 

That gives me a good idea of what help I can give to the partner to be able to assist them in better supporting the birthing person. It also gives me a good viewpoint on how are they coping with things as is. Are they remembering to breathe or are they tensing up? What are the cues that I know I’m going to need to stay on top of to help them get through each contraction? 

Once the contraction passes, I like to ask questions about it and instill confidence in how they coped. 

“You did a great job.” “You did a really good job breathing. I could see that you got a little tense, but you dropped your shoulders.” etc., etc. I also like to compliment what the partner was doing to support. “Those hip squeezes looked amazing.”

And then I’ll ask about how that contraction and support felt for the birthing person. “Where did you feel that contraction?” “Did you feel it more in your back, was it down low, in the center of your belly?” I want to know how that felt for them so I can formulate a plan for when I go to jump in for physical support.

Once I create some sort of plan for support in my head, I share it with them and get their thoughts.

Just like we want providers and nurses to do with our clients in the labor and delivery room, explain everything that they’re thinking and what they want to do to our clients so they feel well informed, I do those same things. 

So I might say something like, “It sounds like you’re feeling that a lot in your back and your lower back, maybe more on your right side. I was thinking the next couple of contractions we could try counterpressure where I push on this spot in your back and we can see how that feels.”

Here, I am getting their permission and their consent for the plan. If and when they agree, I will get some hand sanitizer and clean or wash my hands, and then I always ask again before I touch them. “Is it okay if I touch you during this next contraction?” Again, getting that consent for touch.

As the next contraction builds, or as we’re waiting for the next contraction, I will let them know that if at any point, what I’m doing doesn’t feel good to tell me and I can stop and we don’t have to do it again. 

Most of the time the contraction will come, we will do the plan as stated, and then I do some follow-up questions. “How did that feel? Did it help alleviate any of that?” These next questions help me to reinforce or reformulate the initial plan.

As I move to a place in my business in mentoring new doulas, I’m learning that it can feel intimidating to get into a birth space, get acclimated with the environment, and jump right in.

And truthfully, you don’t have to do it that way. You can ease into the room, have some small talk, and figure out what’s going on before you ever have to physically support your client.

Watching that first contraction and taking notes on how it plays out gives you some time to gather yourself, and formulate a plan of what you can do moving forward. 

Alright, doulas, I hope that’s helpful for you and gives you the confidence to know that you can ease into any birth situation before jumping into physical support. 

I’d love to know what your strategy is when you find yourself first coming into a birthplace. It is so important to talk about what we do and how we do it so we can all better serve our clients. We all come to the birth space with such different points of view and skill sets, so the more that we can share those with other doulas, the better we can support families. 

Doulas, I’d love to know what you do when you first meet your client and their birthing space. Always feel welcome to send me a message on Instagram at @ebbirthing, or email me at ebbirthing@gmail.com.

Until next time. Happy birthing.