Hey mamas, welcome back to the Birthing Bessie blog, where we talk about real topics pertaining to birth, pregnancy, motherhood, partnerships, and just real life. Here on the blog, we don’t shy away from talking about the hardships of motherhood. Instead, we validate you, encourage you, and welcome you with open arms.
I’m bringing Matt back to the Birthing Bestie Blog again this month for another Partner Perspective. He’s sharing about his main takeaways from The Empowered Pregnancy Membership, and what lessons he brought with him into the delivery room!
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Here’s the video for you, Mama!
Doula Perspective: If you guys have been following along either here on the blog or on social media, you know that October has been a new re-enrollment for The Empowered Pregnancy Membership.
When we were pregnant with Cooper, Matt and a couple of our friends took the same childbirth education curriculum that I teach within The Membership. It looks a little bit different now, has a different layout, and is designed to give you even more (no offense to my previous CBE grads) than before. However, the education, the fundamentals, and the foundation are the same.
So we thought what better Partner Perspective than this October while we’re relaunching and opening enrollment The Empowered Pregnancy Membership to talk about what kinds of things we talked about and learned in our childbirth education, and even more so, how we brought those lessons into our own situation in labor and delivery.
Partner Perspective: So I think I’ve mentioned this a couple of times in the past, but taking the childbirth education course with a couple of friends was a lot of fun. A few things that I remember… the first thing, in particular, is an acronym that kind of explains the different ways you can think about options that are given to you when you’re in labor and delivery and it’s BRAINS. Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing, Space.
It was kind of a running joke because we said that a lot during our childbirth education. And there were a lot of times where we couldn’t remember all the names of the letters, but at the end of the day, it’s a really good reminder for us to just kind of think through options.
For our labor, when you would be faced with a choice or a situation when a nurse would come in or the OB would come in, it was a good reminder to understand the different choices. You can sit there and think about it, you can talk about things back and forth, and if your partner is in a situation where she is still able to talk and you have a doula in the room, you can also bounce ideas off them.
So that part of the learning was kind of fun!
Doula Perspective: Yeah, and it’s also a really great tool for talking about decisions prenatally, too. We went back and forth for a while during pregnancy about gestational diabetes, and for some of the conversations, decisions, and discussions around that, BRIANS was really helpful.
Maybe we didn’t necessarily go through every letter of the acronym, but we considered what are the benefits? What are the risks? On and on, and we knew that we could cover all of those letters and really decide how we wanted to move forward.
Partner Perspective: Another one that I wasn’t aware of before the childbirth education class, and we definitely went through these labor, was the different stages of labor.
I had a preconceived notion, probably from seeing it on TV, honestly, that once you’re in the delivery room, it’s all go, go, go, hardcore pushing, screaming, and intense labor… and that wasn’t the case.
For the stages of labor, there’s pre-labor, there’s early labor, there’s active labor, there’s transition, and pushing. So it’s not always that intense. There’s leading up to the intensity, there’s maybe water breaking, there’s going to the hospital, there’s still laboring early labor and active labor. And then when transition came, I pretty much knew that that was getting hot and heavy.
So, that was really neat to learn about and then see it happen pretty much exactly like that.
Doula Perspective: That’s a good point. If you are not familiar with the stages of labor, then you probably think it’s like, oh, shoot, we got to go now. Which now you know isn’t necessarily always the case.
Partner Perspective: Also learning the different ways you can push, I’d say was really helpful. In our situation, Erin pushed in a lot of different positions. I feel like standing up, on the side, all fours, on back.
So there’s, there’s just a lot of different ways that you could get the baby in the right position and try to push– whatever is comfortable for the mom.
I learned a lot, but those are the things that kind of stuck with me and we saw specifically in our experience in the labor and delivery room.
I’ve said it before, but going through all of the education, having the discussions, and talking through what can happen, when it does happen you’re not surprised. And I think that’s huge and not feeling overwhelmed or anxious in that situation. You can still be present and think, “Okay, this is normal. We learned about this. A lot of families go through this. Here we go.”
Those are probably the key takeaways from what we learned and then what actually happened to us.
Doula Perspective: Yeah, and that’s all of the same stuff that I equip families with for the Empowered Pregnancy Membership. The tagline of My Empowered Pregnancy Guide is “from peeing on a stick to holding your baby”, and we literally cover it all… All the things that Matt mentioned, and then some.
My goal is for families who have gone through this Membership, and who have The Guide is to talk through just about everything that may or could happen during your prenatal, and then labor, and then postpartum care.
After going through The Membership, you’ve at least read about it, heard about it, and learned about it, so that when/ if you’re going through it, it’s not completely uncharted territories. Now, obviously, birth can unfold in a million+ different ways, but to be familiar with it, at least so that if it is coming to fruition, and it’s something that you’re handling or dealing with in the delivery room, you’re not completely blindsided.
And you brought something up earlier that is a really great segway into The Empowered Pregnancy Membership because when we did the childbirth education class almost three years ago now, we went through it with friends.
And correct me if I’m wrong, but had we just done it you and I, we would have gotten through it, but maybe things wouldn’t have stuck with you as much as learning alongside other people. There’s a huge community component to this phase in life, especially for moms and pregnant people. Being able to find that common ground with other pregnant women and people who are going through it is so important.
Being and learning in community, the lessons tend to stick a little better. You retain the information a little better and it’s a little more fun! It also sets you up for that community and those conversations, long after the class.
Partner Perspective: There were also a lot of times when we thought that we were going to ask a dumb question and come to find out that the other person was thinking the exact same thing and didn’t want to ask it.
I imagine that happens a lot because there are a lot of unknowns, especially if it’s your first birth experience. You don’t know what to ask, but you can also get it out in the open how you’re feeling, and I feel like it’s, you’re going to get validated by a lot of other people feeling the same sort of way. So that was that was also cool.
Doula Perspective: I always say “You don’t know what you don’t know”, especially if it’s your first time going through it. Sometimes you don’t know what to ask. So just ask it all. There are no wrong questions, there are no silly questions. You just don’t know, and it’s important to have those conversations and learn a little bit more about what to expect.
So, if you or your partner want to be like Matt, and know all the things, and feel a little more prepared for your journey to parenthood, whether it’s your first child or your fifth, The Empowered Pregnancy Membership is the perfect fit. Truly, it is customizable to you and your family, your desires, and your wants.
October, enrollment is open, and I hope that you’ll join us. We have some really amazing partners joining The Membership and specifically The Community, and it’s completely up-leveling the education and support within this space.
And if you’re not ready to join us in October, doors are always open and you are always more than welcome.
All right, Mamas, until next time, sending love and parenting patience your way.